Asking the sissy girl to shut up...

I've realized that this blog has started to stink now. Yep.

I should reduce the ranting. Let's not crib and cry over every fuckin' thing that comes up. Cribbing will not change anything, it will only feed the sissy girl in me and will only make this blog even more stinkier. Yep.

So from now on, lets reduce the cribbing. Yep.

I'll try blogging like those self obsessed pretty girls in pink text color.

Anyhow, as I mentioned in the previous post. The march towards the battle field has begun. But there's a little difference this time. This good for nothing soldier is marching with his chest inflated , holding an invisible shield of hope. Let's fight this last battle of Engineering after which I'll preach anti engineering teachings to the world.

I'll ask kids to commit suicide rather than opt for an engineering course in India. Yep.

Something off the topic....

One of the most important things in life is to take a stand. It is a pathway to your individuality, to self-discovery. Therefore, take a stand, find yourself and march down the walks of life like a soldier full of self pride. Yep.

Amen.

PS- I always imagine an imaginary reader who reads my posts. So yea, Imaginary reader , please pray for my exams. Yep.

Marching down the line....

...and so, the final battle begins. We're heading towards the storm,
which hides a rising sun. A sun which will mark the beginning of good
days. Yep.

Incompleteness….

Here I am again. The same miserable me, Handling the miseries which haunt me.

There are regular blows of fate that remind me of my living. Something is always missing, always. I've never laid back on my couch with a smile on my face and a sweet realization that everything is fine.

My chains of miseries keep dragging me like a dog. I look for completeness, at least for sometime. Just to feel that how it feels like to actually "Live" a life. Vague memories in my mind tell me that it's a good feeling. A sweet sweet childhood still shines as I look back while walking the walks of life.

The future looks mysterious not what I had expected. It never is what I want it to be. Maybe, that's how it justifies its role as my future. I have a feeling this incompleteness will stay, like a disease. I will walk with this disease, towards my grave.

I don't mind walking towards my grave,

I just want to do it with a happy face….

===============

PS- This rant rhymes. #JustNoticed

The mind….

A much needed change happened today. It was the usual suspect, the mind. I kept it busy and life was good. Everything made sense. Even the ugly seemed beautiful.

The mind, your personal projector. It's up to you if you want to watch a happy movie or a Hollywood horror.

Another post. Another ranting session..

I know there's something seriously wrong with my psychology. Yeah.

I may know a lot of things about life but when it comes down to finding a simple thing called "Relief", I fail.

Almost half of the world is also searching for the same thing called "Relief".

I guess this is the ugly truth we all have to encounter, that our lives will have voids and ultimately we will have to let go, to experience relief.

But it's so hard to let go….

But there are happy people in this world. I wonder what is it that they possess. How are their inner beings so protected from the ugly truths of life.

Or may be they are just too lucky.

Yes, lucky. Provided with a smooth pre destined path of life.

Maybe I'm not that lucky. Or maybe I'll just wait for my path to turn smooth.

Else I'll get used to this stumbling and falling, again and again..

We mortals are full of questions. Full of doubts. Full of uncertainty.

The modern life has given us a bloody hurry. No one has time to sit down and ponder. To admire the rising sun and smile back at it. To feed the weak stray dog and be a little thankful. To dance to your favorite song in the middle of the night.

We've stopped living now. We're always "looking forward" to a life which will never come to us.

We, the modern inhabitants. We need some time off. All the rich folks should buy an island for people like us. Where we can go for a self healing exile. Where we can surf the waves during the day and light bon fires , and sing songs during the night.

It's all so good to be true.

That's because…

You won't get an Island to get a realization. But, why can't you just sit there without any questions, without any doubts or complaints. Just exist blissfully in the moment.

Sometimes don't debate. Don't talk. Get drunk and just smile at each other. Hug each other.

Don't let the modern life make a dog out of you.

Because sadly, it's quite successful at doing so.

PS- I'm not high on anything. Yep.

The question is about "Relief" and where can it be found?

Because without relief life is worse than death. Death is instant relief, but misery is death every day.

This plate you've got in front of you. It's what you have. Little or more, that's what you've got. No one can change it.

You can see relief in a beggar's facial expressions. Why? Does he have something more in his life? No. It was what he was given. His plate had a little sauce of "relief".

It's the relief that the rich man looks for, in his air conditioned car. He hides it all under his million dollar fake smile.

Relief. I looked for it here and there…

But, I guess it's not on my plate….

Every single day I realize that life isn't easy. The myths of childhood are rectified every day.

A hurricane destroys the fairy tale land that used to exist in my imagination. In the end a dark reality is always grinning.

I've seen people go through a lot in life. It is kinda tragic. But there is a certain thing that I've noticed. The outcome that is left behind.

Bad times leave you with a divine energy. The ego is curbed, shaped and humbleness is attained.

In the end, it's the fire that gives the luster. Therefore, bad days are good days in disguise.

When the storm moves away, the patterns will be formed and a beautiful picture will be complete.

Yep.

Dedicated to a dear one.

Back…

I'm back again, trying to blurt out the ramblings that generate in my top most floor, which is basically empty. It's been a while, I know.

What was I upto? Nothing actually.

I was just waiting, being a witness to what's happening. Watching the waves of thoughts hitting my head.

Just watching, NOT resisting.

Then, by the grace of the Almighty. Things changed.

There were endless days of darkness for a long time..

Then a ray of light appeared from nowhere..

That's how the self got illuminated..

And those dark days didn't matter

So here I am. Awaiting my job offer letter, after clearing some interviews and realizing how little I sucked. The job is not something grand, but it's my consolation prize. I'll wipe it every single day and keep it close to my heart.

Faith was restored. Although after a month things will drastically change. College will end. I never expected I'll miss my college. But sadly, now I do. Drinking sessions happen with the homies. All those days now appear to be really sweet. We swear and wish that time could somehow freeze but that won't happen.

Because that's the rule, times will only be valued if they pass on. That's how we'll get memories to cherish. Yep.

But currently I want to enjoy this serene mind state, with the light breeze of relief blowing on my conscious. Also, a meditation regime has been started and it's working.

It's all good, as of now. *touches wood*