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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Indian Relatives -The High Maintenance Girlfriends



There’s a thing about knowing a lot of people in life and especially in a place like India, where there’s an army of relatives that are a part of your life. Relatives, the people who’re your so called well-wishers, who will give you cash money in your birthdays on fancy envelopes, the people who will assemble at your place on your big days, give you free advises to show that they care, eat food and then talk about the same food when they’ve left. Relatives are the circus performers of human relationships that keep one amused and a little less lonely.

Maintaining relations with so many people is a tough job; there is a lot one has to do. Especially because in India formalities are to relations, just like spice is to food. The formalities can range for calling up your relatives on special occasions, indulging in a restricted small talk that does not hurt their sentiments in the remotest way and even giving the right amount of money on the right occasion. Indian relatives as you can see are easily much more demanding than your regular high maintenance girlfriend.

Due to the considerable amount of time I’ve spent outside India, I’m not good when it comes to maintaining relationships with relatives. I have to be told when to call whom and when I’m on the line, I don’t know what to say. So when I start repeating the round of questions, I somehow know it’s time for Changa fer (Okay then) to contribute to the tenor and the call to end. The case is different for people who’ve grown up here, some have a genuine liking for relatives; some have trained themselves to develop a liking. I on the other hand am still learning.

The problem with some people is that they cannot fake emotions. While we’re struggling and crawling through the hell holes of our life, apart from our own confused inner self, there is very less possibility of people stealing the spot light. When I’m living the life that’s not of a retired person there’s a lot on my mind, formalities somehow remain far from my state of mind. The only true affection is for those few people you meet every day while riding the unpredictable bull of your life. When you and your relatives are altogether on a different road with the restrictions of many rules of interaction, affection is over powered by formality.

Relatives should not stick to so much of code of conduct, because we all have our lives which bears its own set of orders, therefore having another governing system and that too in a relation is not feasible. The important thing is that even though you may not be in touch with your relatives but when you meet them you should be glad because that feeling of well-being in a social gathering is genuine as compared to the fake display of affection over phone calls.

In the end, I would just say that out of those 10 fake smiles in a social gathering, around 1-2 are genuine ones. Maybe that’s how relatives justify their role in life. Relatives are also the boons that can back you up in times of needs both financial or moral (not emotional). Because no man deserves loneliness in life and these relatives fill the void and keep you safe.

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